Should You Work With A Bereavement Doula?
Facing my second missed miscarriage days before we were supposed to host Thanksgiving dinner for a handful of out-of-town family members, I was yet again searching the depths of Google for a sense of meaning and direction. My first miscarriage experience was a slow, surreal and painful burn. I felt so disconnected from myself and the process—there had to be a better way to experience loss and a better way to grieve and process.
We have rituals for so many other life-altering events. Weddings. Showers. Graduations. Mitzvahs. Funerals.
But when it comes to miscarriages, especially early ones, we have “at least you can get pregnant”. A pie on the front porch. Affirmations that time heals all wounds. That it was just a mass of cells. You’re young. You’re healthy.
In my search for a better way, I discovered “bereavement doulas”. A bereavement doula is a trained professional who provides support and guidance to individuals and families experiencing pregnancy loss.
I researched a few and ultimately reached out for help from Tree of Life Doulas. For some reason, I wasn’t ready to share with anyone that I was working with someone in this capacity, and they offered support via text, instead of phone or zoom.
Within a few hours of reaching out, I was getting texts from a sweet, anonymous friend checking in on me, helping me process my emotions and weighing my options for how to move forward. Even through the holiday weekend, this person was there for me. Her gestures, questions, and suggestions may have seemed small but were monumentally supportive of my mental, emotional and physical well-being.
No matter what stage you may be at with your miscarriage or loss, I can’t recommend working with a bereavement doula enough. Working with a bereavement doula can be healing for several reasons:
Emotional support: Losing a pregnancy can be a deeply emotional and devastating experience. A bereavement doula can provide emotional support and comfort during this difficult time, helping you process your feelings and cope with your loss.
Practical support: A bereavement doula can provide practical support and guidance, such as helping you understand your options for managing the physical aspects of the loss and connecting you with resources and support services.
Connection and community: A bereavement doula can help you feel connected to others who have experienced similar losses and provide a sense of community and understanding.
Advocacy: A bereavement doula can serve as an advocate for your needs and help ensure that you receive the care and support you need.
If you’re here, you know how hard it can be to find the emotional and practical support you need to get through this season of life. I would love for this post to live on as a resource for others, so if you are a bereavement doula or have worked with one you love, please share their info in the comments below.
xx
